The Story of Phinley:
A funny yet very fishy story
On a beautiful January day, John Timberlake, Dan McDonough, Jason Adams and Opie Cheek chartered a fishing boat. They had planned a day of relaxation before a new season of Threshers Baseball.
The guys were especially excited because of the number of sharks rumored to habit the Gulf of Mexico during the winter. John, Dan and Jason cast their lines while Opie tried to explain the difference between St. Augustine and Bermuda grass to the captain.
After an hour without so much as a nibble on their bait, the guys decided it was time to eat. Luckily they had stocked up a supply of Philly cheese steaks from LaSpada’s for the trip. Just as Jason bite into his sandwich, the boat violently lurched. The abrupt movement knocked him off-balance and sent his cheese steak over board.
A moment later, John felt a tug on his line. Immediately he was in a life and death struggle to reel in an unknown monster of the deep. Dan and Jason were amazed with John’s fishing prowess. Without even breaking a sweat, John hauled up the largest shark any of them had ever seen, with the Philly cheese steak still in his powerful jaws.
Opie and the captain even stopped talking about Kentucky Blue Grass in awe of this spectacle. Dan devised an idea to chum the water with the rest of the Philly cheese steaks to lure the shark to shore. It worked!
Once docked the captain took a closer look and they realized that they had caught a rare and elusive Thresher Landshark! Dan looked at the shark, imagined the possibilities and proclaimed, “Let’s Make a Deal!”
Within minutes an agreement was written and endorsed. The document named Phinley the shark as the Threshers #1 phan. Additionally, he received all the Philly cheese steaks he could eat and all the hugs he could handle from the Threshers faithful phans. In return, Phinley is the point-shark for the Threshers nation… Be sure to “catch” him at Bright House Networks Field cheering for the Threshers!
NAME: Phinley
BATS: Right
THROWS: Poorly
HEIGHT: 6’8”
WEIGHT: 275 @ $5 lb
MOVIE: Jaws
SONG: Fins by Jimmy Buffet
TV SHOW: Shark week on Discovery Channel
BOOK: Movin’ On Up: Baseball and Philadelphia Then, Now and Always By Robert Gordon and Tom Burgoyne
FOOD: Philly Cheese Steak
Frequently Asked Questions of Phinley
Q: How do you breathe on land?
A: I am a Threshers Landshark. I can live on land as long as I have a fresh supply of Philadelphia cheese steaks.
Q: You are a shark, why do you wear clothes?
A: The obvious answer is that Bright House Networks Field has a strict dress code for all employees including sharks.
Q: What is your favorite place in the stadium?
A: On top of the dugout or out on Phinley’s landing
Q: Where do you live?
A: I have a 20,000 gallon salt water tank under the right field wall.
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